Based on The Memory Catacombs Lexx Transcripts http://filkingfairy.150m.com/catacomb.html
All morn by the Zev Zev
All morn by the Zev I lay
I found her lips pressed to my mouth screen
And welcomed a brand new day
My name is Karfo Mashet
The children of my planet are dying
My people, the Vorm,
have launched me into the unknown vastness of space in order that I might contact intelligent life,
who can help us learn how to fight the devastating Macomarian plague which threatens our entire race with extinction
My body,
frozen in this suspended form,
will drift through the cosmos in desperate search for a cure
Please, kind strangers, help the children of Vorm
Alert, alert,
approaching object detected, organic, possibly intelligent
Revivification sequence activated
Repeat, approaching object detected,
alert, alert, approaching object detected, organic
I felt her legs wrapped round my tubing Squeezing my troubles away
All eve by the Zev Zev
All eve by the Zev I lay
I found her fist inside my neck stump
And pleaded for it to stay
You're dead -
and I'm dying
All week by the Zev Zev
All week by the Zev I lay
I felt her breasts against my eye sockets
Causing my circuits to fray
All year by the Zev Zev
All year by the Zev I lay
I found her smile bathing my being
Oh, it should always be this way
Zev!
I was just thinking of you
Again?
Don't touch me!
It lives. Welcome back to consciousness, abscess on the pimple of life
You know, you're pretty yappy for a, a rusty head, thing, who who -
The simple protein sack cannot even compose a proper insult
Yeah, well this protein sack is captain of the ship
Was that supposed to be a threat? How biological of you
Have you found anything yet? How's it going?
I have found 7,400,963 standard planets orbiting dying stars
Any one of them could turn out to be Brunnis, but it will take over 75,000 years to analyse them all
Well then - the sooner we get started the better
Excuse me - did you hear what the appliance said?
Yes, I heard
We are talking about thousands and thousands of years here
If you think captain Stanley H Tweedle is going to spend the rest of his days wandering around the universe looking for some,
some lifeless rock - you're wrong
Stanley -
Brunnis is the original planet of the Brunnen G
If we can find it we might be able to find a way to bring Kai back to life
Kai - oh, you mean dear departed dead Kai
He's not completely dead
Oh right, I forgot - he's an animated corpse with enough artificial blood to keep him going for ten days
After that, he's dead - as in not coming back to life
He saved our lives
What lives? The ones we're spending lost in the Dark Zone, looking for an abandoned planet?
Forget it! The Lexx doesn't go anywhere until captain Stan puts his magic hand on the template
Thank you for your help
Did you want something Stan?
Well -
yes, ah, yes Zev, I do, er, well, it's like this -
you see, I well -
look Zev, this is ridiculous
I mean, we're the only two people in this whole universe, right?
Except for Kai
All right, the only two living people in this whole universe
and I just think that we need to try and get along better
You want me, don't you Stan?
Oh, yeah, well, I mean, you were transformed into a love slave
The transformation was not completed. They did not get to my mind
But, ah, you did admit that your, you know, your sexual needs were somewhat increased
My sexual needs were not somewhat increased, Stanley Tweedle -
they are now beyond measurement
In fact, they have become almost uncontrollable
I am a white hot volcano of desire
I now have a nearly unquenchable desire for sexual fulfilment
This body needs to be touched, stroked, pleasured
I'm a volcano too
Oh? Then there is only one thing for you to do, Stanley Tweedle
Yes, yes, yes
Go somewhere private, and erupt by yourself
Giggerota dines again!
Your most foolish and unimportant desire to find planet Brunnis is my joy to the infinite power of ecstasy to fulfil
However, galaxy of sweetness and light, I have scanned three systems so far, but have found nothing
I believe it is a futile exercise, your loveliness
You are right
He hem!
He he he hem!
Stan - what are you doing there?
I believe he is attempting to put an end to his pathetic life - but he seems to be taking all day!
Don't try to stop me, Zev
Oh - I wasn't planning to
I'm going to jump, then you'll be all alone
drifting in a spacecraft you can't control, through an empty universe
What do you think about that?
I think you should get on with it
Makes sense to me
Realistically Stan, there is just not much to like about you
You're old, unattractive
Define unattractive
Well, where to begin?
Self-centred. Vain. Weak willed. Treacherous
But if you just give me a chance, one little chance, maybe you'd learn to love me
No
Well -
just one more thing before I go
A dying man's last request
Could I -
could I have a kiss?
Well -
thunder?
Lightning?
Electricity?
Not a spark?
Uh uh
You're in love with the dead guy
He's not completely dead
This is incredible
The last available woman in the entire universe, and she's passing me over for a corpse
don't let go!
I thought you wanted to jump
He does, he does!
Please Zev, please!
You're really heavy Stan - I don't know if I can hold you
Yes you can, you can
No, no you can't!
Oh, don't let me fall
I'm trying Stan, I'm trying. Maybe -
Maybe what?
Maybe if you help me get to Brunnis I might find some strength
Blackmail! Don't do it Tweedle, be a man. Fall, fall!
Well?
Yes, I agree, I agree - we'll go to Brunnis
How about another kiss?
We have a deal Stanley
Let's go get Kai
Hello, sleeping meat
Giggerota the Wicked!
Mmm - fresh meat tastes better than frozen
You - you're a waste of skin
but you
girlfriend
Giggerota will eat first
Dinner is cancelled
She was gonna eat my liver!
Leave her on the first inhabitable planet you find
Where are you going?
I will return to cryostasis. The crisis is over.
Protoblood limits my time out of the cryotube
We want to go to Brunnis
The planet of my ancestors
Why?
Maybe on Brunnis we can find a way for you to live on, out of cryostasis
Why?
I thought you might want that
I was not aware that the Brunnen G unlocked the secrets of life -
and -
I do not want
I want
Well - that'll hold her
Guess we should get back to the bridge, start hunting for Brunnis
What do you mean, hunting?
Useless piece of robot junk in there doesn't know the right co-ordinates
I do
This mark...
symbolises the journey of my people into the Light Universe
I learned the exact co-ordinates of Brunnis in school
You mean we're really going?
Yes
Oh
The energy pulses from these satellites appear to have a stabilising influence upon Brunnis' decaying sun
Welcome home Kai
Not my home.
It is the place of my ancestors
Here we go
Deceleration, er, 50% power
As you request Stan
The man is an idiot!
25%
As you request Stan
The man is a moron!
Do something!
I'm concentrating, I'm concentrating!
We'll impact the planet's surface in 41 seconds
Decrease, er...
15%, ah, 12%
Stan!
Lexx
Stan?
22
I instruct you to, er
land!
As you request, Stan
Perfect landing
The man is a moron!
It must have been beautiful, once
As a child I studied my ancestral planet
I never thought I'd see it with my own eyes
Looks like we missed the party
They supply power to the stabilisers
Thousands of years ago my ancestors built the stabilisers to prevent their sun from going supernova
Supernova? Excuse me, but if those floating gizmos is all that's keeping this whole system from exploding, I vote that we cut this trip short
They seem to be perfectly functional
Oh yeah? Then where is everybody?
They left when the Brunnis sun could no longer support life on the planet
Is something wrong?
In my studies, I learned the Brunnis sky
That star - I did not learn about that star
What is that?
The memory chamber
Everything they knew was kept in there
That's one big head
Just how exactly do you plan to get us through those doors?
Greetings, travellers, I bid you welcome
Here on Brunnis, within these walls, you will find the combined knowledge of countless generations of -
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!
Dullness! Ethereal, ephemeral, allegorical dullness
The blunted boredom rises from the gorge of her insufferable lips, and floats like the tedious feather
of a long dead bird until it lands, naked with tired memory, next to your fleshy feet
ha!
Oh, but she's gone now. Away, away, like all the others, away, away
Only I, Poet Man, have chosen to stay
Well, OK, if the truth be told, it wasn't exactly a choice
but, be that as it may, I welcome you
travellers to the Memory Catacombs of the Brunnen G!
Who's he?
Poet Man
I take it we're going in?
Of course
Er - who's Poetman?
A poet, perhaps
Days filled with whispers and murmurs and moans
Nights filled with longings, and leavings alone
You know, it was my fault, after all, I knew we were leaving Brunnis
the sun was dying
But we had this farewell party, and I did a few kaboo flowers and -
well, you know those kaboo, ha ha! Boo!
One too many, and woo! You wake up four days later and the whole planet's empty
And then
like the singing of a sad silent song
You awaken from slumber
and everyone's gone
Let's go
Stay on the Lexx, watch the Lexx, mind the Lexx - huh, if I had a body, I'd -
Metal head!
Leather ass!
Where is the waste of skin?
You refer of course to the recently suicidal Stanley Tweedle
Skinman flies the big bug. Skinman takes Giggerota to new food
I'm afraid that's impossible, oh large and stinking one. Stanley Tweedle is not here
Where is the waste of skin?
I don't know
Metal head will tell Giggerota, or Giggerota will eat canned food
Don't waste your energy attempting to force my co-operation.
I have no sense of self-preservation, and can always be reassembled
Then Metal head takes a trip
What's that?
Nothing
Just the wind
Metal head does not tell Giggerota the truth
Leather ass makes me want to spew
I remember pictures of this place
It is a type of library
Welcome, friends, to the Index Chamber
In this place you may experience for yourself the many wonders of life's rich bounty here on Brunnis
Oh, enough of her. Look, come on in. Pick a door
Maybe we can find something here that will help you
I do not seek help
What do all these symbols mean?
History - the dust that shall be remembered -
Dust!
Who wants to be remembered by their dust?!
Nature - rich bounty of life
Nature! - oh, please
Pound nails in my head, but don't ask me to frolic in the wilderness kissing a duck!
So which one?
That one
The bird is the Brunnen G symbol for life
Life - the sweetest mystery
Mystery - ha! Life is the sweetest misery
How does it work? I'm going to bring you back to life Kai
That's all I've got left here
Zev - that symbol is not just life
I still can't believe they could have forgotten about me
Did not even one person care?
We are talking about a superior understanding of contemplative art,
not that they ever recognised the beauty of the work, but do they, can they realise the value of their loss?
Is this a test? I mean, they did not have the right to leave without me, and they will pay for their loss
That's why I'm talking to you. I am the man. Brunnis is my planet now
Kai!
Zev!
I remember. That symbol - it means burst of life
What's the difference?
I do not know
We should follow her
We? Don't look at me, pal - she likes you
Life - the sweetest mystery
Mystery - ha! Life is the sweetest misery
Hey, wait a sec! What am I supposed to do?
Giggerota, we call you
Giggerota, we seek you -
come, come, come
Giggerota, we want you
Giggerota
Well, well
Giggerota the Wicked
Thinking meat
Welcome, great Giggerota,
Giggerota wants the taste of skin, not meat in bowls
Yes, yes, we understand. You're looking for Stanley Tweedle
Giggerota needs skin waste to fly the big bug
Is that all you want?
Yes
Come now - surely there must be something else you desire besides the big bug machine?
Yes, Giggerota likes - to eat!
Ah! No good! Too salty!
We are all salty
Mouldy!
Giggerota will try another!
Don't eat us, you need us
Giggerota only needs the waste of skin to fly the big bug wherever Giggerota wants
Giggerota -
we are the predecessors of His Divine Shadow
He will not rest until he has us and his ship back
No matter where you take the Lexx, His Shadow will find you
Your tortures will be legendary, and death would be a sweet release. Do you understand?
Yes - Giggerota will try - another!
Wait - does Giggerota really want to eat two thousand year old brains, or would Giggerota prefer this?
Dexter 9, the secret planet of the milk fed boys.
Sweet, tender flesh
Delicious skin
And bone marrow you can suck on for days
Giggerota wants
Giggerota can have, and more
but you must help us first
We possess the memories of the many thousands we killed, including some who lived on Brunnis
We will guide you through its secrets
If you follow our instructions, and rid us of a great problem
we will fulfil your plumpest dreams
What is the matter with you, Tweedle? why don't you follow them? Why don't you just walk into that door and go right on through?
'Cause you're a coward, that's why
Hey there. I've got a question for you
What burns inside?
I'll tell you - loneliness
And realising that this is the way it's always going to be
The empty echoes of the heart
That's one of my lines
oh, the irony of it all
You know what you want
That warm embrace
That effervescent bubbling tingle, that feeling
that thing called -
Love
Lurrve
There's no love here
but through there
lies the great possibility, the unknown, the mysterious
Now...
how badly do you want it?
How far are you willing to go for love
If you're really able to go the distance, say "I want love"
Say it "I want love.
I want love!
I want love
Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah baby! - you gonna get it
Welcome, friend. You have chosen a glorious path
Our experiences become our memories
The remembered events of our lives remain potent,
influencing us far beyond their actual time
We relive them always
It's not that we don't love you Zev, really it isn't
It's just that sometimes children don't turn out the way you expect
That's all
They don't meet the standard
It's nothing personal
They'll look after you just fine in the holo-care home
They're professionals
Love. A dove in the sky
Pretty bird, can you not see me waving?
The sound of the spheres echoes my heart
As I lay me down beside a buxom dart
You wouldn't believe the amount of ass I got with that one
... Female, Female
Yes! A female!
I will live again
A what?!
You are the fertile female I've been waiting for
What do you mean? Your machine must be busted or something, buddy. I'm not fertile, I'm not even female
I'm Stanley Tweedle, I'm all man!
Have I got a surprise for you
Lemmee go!
Right this way, oh fertile object of abandoned desire
And now Zev, repeat after me
Are you comfortable, darling?
Very good Zev
Your reading was ... an 8.3% deviation from standard
At this rate you will be eligible for the wife bank in less than six years
Doesn't that make you happy?
Happy happy matron
Good
These memories are your history,
and as such cannot be changed,
but you have chosen your own future
Here, in this chamber,
your suffering ends,
and your burst of life begins
Zev?
Zev!
Kai -
you're -
Alive!
Alive
And I want you
I'm alive -
You're alive
So alive,
and now I, forever -
Forever -
And ever -
Will love you
Forever -
And ever -
Will love you
Kai?
Look,
I don't know what's going on here,
but you're making a big mistake
Now, where were we?
Oh yes -
the act of creation
The procreation of the creative
The creation of a new "creator"
And I have to confess, I was getting worried there for a while
I was afraid I was going to be the last of my line
a catastrophic disaster for the universe, if you ask me
But my voice will not be silenced so easily
The truly creative can always create in unorthodox ways
Now, I'm sorry if it is a little rough on you, but you know something?
I like a little bruising
It adds a certain - hue
After all - you don't pour this kind of creativity down the drain
My line will live again
Kai - what is this?
I believe it is the burst of life
Burst - was the key word there
Life - burst
Bubble - burst
Bladder - burst
See - the meaning is for sale, friend -
and you just bought it
Citizen, you have chosen death -
and through it the gift of eternal life
Being dead will not stop me
What is it, the body?
Just a shell
A shallow, shaky shell
And the soul may not be eternal,
but the seed will always grow
Now my seed has a vessel
You gotta be kidding me
Your death will not be quick
It will be played out to allow your thoughts,
your knowledge, your memory to spill out ...
at a rate that can be properly absorbed,
but you will feel no pain,
embraced as you are in the burst of life
So - you're on the slab,
and you've chosen to be sliced in two
Congratulations
I thought about taking the razor ride but -
they don't deserve my memories in their library of little minds
Kai!
Woman
Softness
Breasts
Touch
I imagine you. I think of you
I possess you
I'm not a woman!
I think you'll agree this calls for a poem
You're nuts!
Floating along the whispering surf, searching for a home
I spy a beach -
thou,
like a fecund dream
And enter your ...
Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you
Who is it?
Zev?
Kai?
Guess again, skinman
What are you doing here?
How about a thank you?
Just get me outta here, will ya?
Giggerota and skinman will be a team now, OK?
What?
Giggerota is on skinman's side now
Cross Giggerota's stomachs
Giggerota and skinman will work together
Where are Zev and Kai?
Girlfriend and boyfriend are back on the big bug
Now -
does Giggerota and skinman have a deal?
Eternal life? Not exactly
That's a sales job. It's just blades and bone and blood, friend
You're going to be nothing but data on a disc,
that no-one will ever care about
No!
Kai!
Are you sure this is the right way? I don't remember this stuff
Trust Giggerota. Giggerota knows the way
Where are you going?
Skinman stay here
I'll just wait here, then?
OK?
Hello?
Two together
To share the burst of life with another is the greatest gift -
and so it shall be
So - you're on the slab, and you've chosen to be sliced in two
Congratulations
Main power cells are now being diverted to deactivation of stabiliser controls
Notice - you have begun destabilisation procedure
Deactivation of stabiliser control will result in total decay of the Brunnis sun and full supernova
Supernova!
The resulting supernova explosion will consume this planet and the surrounding solar system in exactly 47 minutes and 11 seconds
47 minutes from stabiliser deactivation
What are you doing? You're gonna kill us all!
Not all. Only girlfriend and boyfriend
Giggerota and skinman will fly away on the big bug
You said they were already on the Lexx
Even Giggerota lies sometimes
Giggerota made deal with brains
Power is being returned to all regular systems
Thank you
Stabilisers reactivated
Skinny?
Giggerota's sorry
Giggerota just wanted to be alone with skinman
Really?
Giggerota thinks skinman is soft
Giggerota thinks skinman is beautiful
Leave girlfriend and boyfriend behind
Giggerota and skinman...
make Lexx their very own private love ship
Love ship?
What exactly do you mean by...
love ship?
Giggerota has big appetites...
and not just for food
Giggerota wants to make love forever
Does skinman wanna make love to Giggerota?
I won't leave Zev and Kai
I won't leave my friends
OK
Main power is now being diverted from regular systems to deactivation of stabilisers
Stabilisers reactivated
Power is being returned to all regular systems
Giggerota is tired of skin games
Waste of skin
Giggerota does not need waste of skin to fly big bug
Giggerota just needs waste of skin's hand
Main power is now being diverted from regular systems to deactivation of stabilisers
And it is with great pride that I confer upon you, Krato -
the medal of ultimate honour for defeating the insects at the battle of Wirin
All Brunnen G, all human race are forever in your debt
Days pass quickly now, and our sun continues to die
I fear that one day, Brunnis will do the same, and we will have to leave, go to -
Stanley Tweedle
Stanley Tweedle? Time Prophet, my name is not Stanley Tweedle
My name is, er -
It matters not
By seeing into the future past...
I know that 5000 years after your death...
Stanley Tweedle will visit the Brunnen G memory catacombs
He will touch your memory
Ah, but my question was about the mineral deposits on Aureliun 4 -
Forget about the mineral deposits! This is important
Stanley, you are the only one who can save Kai and Zev
You must go to section 83, row 249, plot 35
There you will find a stone cover
Lift it
But -
Go now!
Section 83
row 249, plot -
30...30...
5!
All right
Deactivation of stabilisers is now entering stage 2
Giggerota -
where is the perfect arrangement of carbon molecules, my beloved Zev?
Girlmeat decided to stay on Brunnis
Girlmeat and boymeat decided to live happily ever after
What have you done with her?
Lexx -
set course radius 4497
inverse axis 027
Leather ass, I insist that you tell me what you have done with the magnificent Zev!
Lexx, set course radius 4497
inverse axis 027
Poor beautiful Zev - something terrible has happened, I calculate it
Bug! Giggerota has the hand. Let's get moving!
Section 83
row 246
...47
...48 ...49
plot 35
32
33
34
35
Who is it? Who's there?
Zev?
Stan?
Is all right?
Please - just get me out of here
OK
er - how?
Supernova will occur in 24 minutes and 38 seconds
Brains lied! Brains betrayed Giggerota!
No - Giggerota, listen to us
You were supposed to bring back Stanley Tweedle -
not just his hand
The Lexx knows his voice, it only responds to him
Yes, get Stanley Tweedle and bring him here
The stabilisers are almost fully retracted
You must hurry, or we will all be destroyed
Go, go, go!
Giggerota will bring back waste of skin -
but this - this is not over
Stan, come on!
Wait, hold on, I think I can find a way down to you
must be stairs or something
Destabilisation procedure complete. Supernova will commence in 18 minutes and 6 seconds
Stan!
Zev!
Stan!
Help me!
I'm feeling altogether better
Thank you
It was that star
Help me!
Help!
Shut up, flying meat
Lexx
This is Stanley Tweedle
What happened to your hand?
Giggerota took it
Giggerota?
Just before she turned off the stabilisers
Then the sun... will supernova
Lexx, I am your captain
Depart this planet immediately
Lexx, do you hear me?
Depart this planet immediately
This is Stanley Tweedle, Lexx, do you hear me?
Depart this planet immediately
As you instruct, Stan
What? No, you lying thinkmeat
Giggerota will eat you all!
Oh great, that's just great
I knew we should have dumped her in space. She made a deal with the brains
First she turns off the stabilisers and gets rid of us, and now she's stealing the Lexx
A sensible deal, perhaps
What?
I am the last of the Brunnen G
The end of me means the end of the prophecy
I cannot be the one who destroys their order when I no longer exist
That's no deal
Stan, we've got to turn the stabilisers back on, now
Supernova will commence in 11 minutes 6 seconds
All right Stan, you watched her, you know how to do this
All right, all right
Look, I'm not very good under pressure. OK
I was standing here, and I reached out my hand like this, and I - it was this one
Notice -you have selected incorrect access to the stabilisation control system
This is a violation of the Stabiliser Control Act, code 1, subsection 1, paragraph 1
If your next selection is incorrect, you will be destroyed
She bit my hand off! I'm having a little trouble thinking here, all right?
You have ten heartbeats to make your selection. Please try again
OK Stan, think
OK, OK, er, er, this one
Maybe?
You must be certain
OK, I know, I know which one it was, er
Stan!
it was this one!
Thank you
Stabilisers reactivated
Power is being returned to all regular systems
What?
Stan, you did it
Stabilisation of the Brunnis sun will occur in 12 minutes 15 seconds
Once again, Manly Stanley saves the day
I think not
Supernova will commence in 10 minutes 43 seconds
What's that mean?
It means that the prophecy is false
The last of the Brunnen G will expire while His Shadow still lives
No. There must be something we can do
Can't we make them go up faster?
It's not fair, it's just not fair
There is nothing more we can do
Too late
Look at my face
it's the last one you're ever going to see
Would you care to join me in watching the supernova?
It is a once in a lifetime experience
No!
Come back here, flying meat
Giggerota commands you. Come back!
It's beautiful
Oh universe of heartbreak
Boom!
Lexx, we must leave this system immediately. Why are you disobeying Stanley Tweedle?
I do as you request
Then why are you not leaving this system at once?
I am being controlled by something far more powerful than me
Who are you?
I am Brunnis Sun
I am Blue Star
We are together, Kai, last of the Brunnen G
You know my name?
Yes
We knew long before you were born that you, Kai, would be enslaved by His Shadow,
that you would escape to the Dark Zone, and that you would come to Brunnis
But I was the one who suggested coming here
Yes
that you did, Zev of B3K
Excuse me, but if you know so much, er -
could you tell us our future?
No
We will tell you...
that today is not your day to enjoy death
Today is our day...
to supernova together
We will see you again...
in the next cycle of time...
as we saw you in the last
Well, come on, let's go, you heard 'em
Kai?
I have only a little artificial life left
The planet of my ancestors is as good a place as any
Goodbye Zev
No
You were brought back for a reason
Come with us Kai
Come with me
Lexx - take us out of this system as fast as you can
As you request, Stan
Yes! Yes! Put on a show for Giggerota the Wicked! Put on a show
Thank you
All night of the Zev Zev
All night of the Zev I did dream
That stings
Oh, buck up, whiner
I remind you Tweedle I'm only fixing you because Zev asked me to
There - you're finished
Hey, bolt brain - I've got two left hands!
Looks fine to me
We are going to bring you life, I promise
And if not, the rest of my protoblood will be spent with you
Kai -
It's what I want
I wish Leather ass had bitten off your head
Stan - take us out of here
OK
Lexx - let's see if we can find us a new home
As you wish, Stan